Never, Until I'm Loving You
by Hakhin
Summary: He's wondering why she gives him the light of day and why it's his knee that she rests her hand on. He's wondering why when she looks at him her eyes are always softer and warmer. Clint/Natasha


**A/N: **Okay, I really think I've quite out done myself this time. I'm incredibly happy with the way this story has turn out and I equally hope that the rest of you who read this think the same too. I wrote this whilst listening to 'Come Away With Me' by Norah Jones, so I totally recommend listening to that as you read this. Enjoy!

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He's never asked anything of her before. He's never ordered her, never told her what to do and never questioned her or the reasons why she did some things one way and other things another. He's never thought she could be any better than the way she was here and now, with him. He's never wanted her to be anything other than how she wants to be.

But now, when he's sitting there beside her with the others slouching over the table eating their own Shawarma's and remaining silent as each of them reflect on everything that has happened, he suddenly has a million things to ask her.

He suddenly wants to know why she's let him live when she could have so easily let him die. He's wondering why she took the risks that she's taken today and why of all people in the world she changes all that she is for the sake of one man. He's wondering why after everything they've ever been through it takes something like this to change everything between them.

But most of all he's wondering why she gives him the light of day and why it's his knee that she rests her hand on. He's wondering why when she looks at him her eyes are always softer and warmer. He's wondering why throughout the entire meal she's keeping her eyes on him and only him. He's wondering why she cares so much about him when the others are clearly equally as exhausted and as battered and bruised as he is.

He wants to know what it is she sees in him and why with every look his chest feels tighter and tighter. He wants to know why with every touch he only wants more and why after all these years, all these months, all these days he's falling in love with her now. He wants to know what on earth he has to offer a woman like her but then he tells himself that he doesn't really deserve her because he's anything but a good man.

She deserves the type that'll love her until the end of time. She deserves the type that'll always be able to promise her the world and promise her that he'll always be there no matter what. She deserves the type that'll hold her and protect her even though she doesn't need the protection. She deserves the sort that'll make her smile and make her laugh and show her just how wonderful being in love actually is.

But when they've finished the meal and they've decided to go back to Stark Towers to sleep away the events of today, it's her arm that slides behind his lower back. It's her that offers him help when he tries to stand on his twisted ankle. It's her that tells him not to be silly when he tells her he doesn't need the help and that he's perfectly fine despite the pain that's shooting up his shin. It's her that guides him out of the diner when he actually begins to realize that he is actually quite battered and bruised after everything that they've been through today and yesterday and the day before that too.

It's her hand that is in his when they're making their way into Stark Towers, listening to Tony tell them that they're all going to have to crash on level 43 because that is the only liveable level left because the others are either damaged or labs of some sorts. It's her fingers that are suddenly intertwined with his when he's leaning against one corner of the elevator listening to Tony ramble on about what is going to be needing fixing to the fact that he is extremely excited that Pepper's going to be arriving any time in the next hour. It's her eyes that seek his out when he winces when a particular unpredicted bump occurs in the elevator ride up. It's her soft words of 'are you okay' that whispers beside him as Tony blabbers to Jarvis why they've stopped on level 36 instead of 43.

It's her that helps him out of the elevator when Jarvis tells them that due to some internal damages, they're going to have to use elevator 3 instead of the one that they're in because it's stuck and it won't go any higher. It's her that tells Tony sharply that they're going to be sharing a room and no, it wasn't because they were a couple but because after everything that has happened she really just wants to make sure that he is okay. He has to smile inwardly when Tony doesn't question her but directs her to the room instead. He only knows that tomorrow Tony will tease them endlessly and probably make up some silly accusation like he could hear their moaning from three doors down.

He thinks to himself that he doesn't deserve her help. But yet it's still her that helps him into the room and that tells him to sit on the bed so she could take a better look at his leg and dress his wounds. He tells her she doesn't need too, but she only throws him a knowing look and he knows his entire argument is irrelevant because his ankle is rather purple and desperate for much attention.

But then it hits him quite suddenly as she sits on the chair in front of him with his leg on her lap and her eyes fixed on the wound she's dressing, that he is or possibly has become her blind spot. He is the one thing on this world, this earth or realm as Thor would put it, that she can't seem to see past. He is the one thing that she actually wants in her life and the one thing that she needs to just be herself.

He is the only one that she would drop everything for in a blink of an eye without a second thought. He's the only one that she would bargain for. He's the one whose life she spares and it's not because all those years ago he spared hers. It's because to her, he is so much more than just a friend and a fellow agent.

He is the one that she's learned how to trust, how to depend on and how to laugh with. He's the one that's taught her that it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes, that it's okay to be human and let things go for a while. He's the one that's held her hand when she's been at her complete low. He's been the one that's shown her that every now and then it's okay to cry. But most of all, he's the one that's shown her that with his friendship he asks for nothing else in return but hers too.

She looks up at him when she finishes dressing his wounds and he wants to tell her that he'll return the favour and dress hers too. But she tells him not to worry because hers are far and few compared to his. She tells him with a smile, an actual rare but genuine smile that she has only ever shown to him, that he really needs to be more careful when they're in battles. But then he tells her with a mirroring smile that he doesn't have time for that because he's too busy keeping an eye out for her and making sure she isn't in any way, shape or form in the line of any danger.

He isn't sure if he has somehow offended her when her smile vanishes or when she's looking at him with overwhelming warmth in her eyes. He isn't sure if he's said something wrong until she sighs and steps forward between his legs in a way that seems so natural that he would have almost thought she'd done this very thing with him a million times already.

He's lost for words when she moves to slide both her hands at either side of his face to hold him right there in that moment. He's feeling that feeling again in his chest when she looks into his eyes and when for the first time he realizes that he isn't just staring into hers. She's letting him look into the one thing she's never shared with anybody before. He's staring into her soul and that alone is enough to let him realize that with every passing second he's falling in love with her even more.

She leans down before he has the chance to say anything and she's kissing him before he is even able to comprehend it. But when he does he slides his hand into her hair and his other curls around her waist in an attempt to pull her closer. He kisses her like there is no tomorrow and with every second that he's kissing her he's showing her that he just doesn't need this for now, he wants this for tomorrow, next week and for many years after this too.

He pulls back just as she does when they need to breath and with that he holds her close and presses the side of his head at her stomach, hugging her as he sits. He wishes he could hold her forever and remain in this moment always. He feels her sliding her hand through his hair and he swears it almost feels like they've done this before. He feels her breath at the top of his head and he can't help but smile at the sensation of feeling her close to him for the very first time. They're in that position for what seems like hours, just holding each other and listening to the sounds of each other's breathing and heart beats.

He pulls his hand from her hair and instead slides behind his head so he is able to hold her hand in his. He moves their holding hands to his lips and he presses a kiss to the back of her hand.

She chooses that moment to whisper her love for him and he about breaks down when she does. He pulls himself back from the embrace and he looks up at her and realizes that she's actually genuinely meant every word she has just said to him. He wants to whisper his love for her too but he's the traditional kind of man that thinks she should really be sitting and he really should be kneeling.

He pushes himself from the bed despite her asking him what he is doing and he slides his hand to the side of her face and tells her that he loves her too. His voice comes out sounding incredibly husky and croaky because he's one quarter almost in tears and three quarters just overwhelmed with the fact that she actually loves him too. She takes that moment to remind him despite the intimate emotions in the air around them that he really shouldn't be standing on that sprained ankle.

But he jokes back that he doesn't feel a thing because her declaration of love is about the best pain relief medication he has ever experienced. She laughs and that's when he knows that everything is going to be okay. Her smile lingers on afterwards as he holds her face between his hands. He feels her hands sliding onto his chest and takes that moment to lean in and kiss her again. He kisses her slowly, pouring his love into his kiss as he pulls her closer and loses himself with every passing second in her love.

He barely feels it when she's sliding the zip down behind his back and before he knows he's feeling the cool air of the night on his bare chest. But he soon forgets when he feels her hands sliding up his chest again and this time he lets himself slide the zip at her back down. He whispers and moans her name, 'Tasha' into the kiss when he feels her bare chest upon his and she moans 'Clint' shortly after. It is the first time that he ever thinks his name sounds like the sexiest thing ever. He has never quite felt like this before when doing this and with that he's telling himself that she is going to be the woman that he'll only ever do this with until he dies.

He loves her until morning and he'll love her the next day after that and until the next year and the next decade after that too. Then he realizes that he is the perfect man for her because he knows that he'll love her until the end of time and he'll promise her the world and promise her that no matter what he's always going to be in her heart. He'll offer his warmth and protection to her for the rest of their lives even though she'll continuously tell him she really doesn't need it but yet she'll gladly accept it because she loves him too. He'll make her smile when nobody else can and he'll make her laugh like it is the easiest thing to do in the world. But he'll also show her every day that with him, their love will always be more than what it was yesterday.

And much later when he wakes up to her sleeping beside him he'll hold her tight and never let her go. He'll watch her sleep, watch the way she completely lets her guard down and sleeps the events of yesterday away beside him. He'll breathe in her scent and he'll think about the love they made last night. He'll brush her hair back and press his lips on her bare shoulder and he'll whisper how much he loves her even though he knows she's sleeping and can't hear him.

But when she wakes up and looks at him with that small knowing smile on her lips, he'll know that while he will never ask anything of her again or doubt her reasons for doing some things one way and other things another, he knows that asking her to marry him will be the only exception that he'll make.


End file.
